The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
