One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Randomize
