I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
