So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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