I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
