hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize