I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
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