u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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