my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
