god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
