belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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