It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
