Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
