So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
