Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
