Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
