last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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