Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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