Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize