We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize