Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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