my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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