There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
