at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
