He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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