I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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