apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
