your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
True strength comes from lack of pants
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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