No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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