Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
