I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
