i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
