OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
