Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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