even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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