youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
