Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
