i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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