Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
