i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
