i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
