u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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