So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
