I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
