Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
