You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
