it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
