What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
