I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
