she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
MIDGETS
????
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
