My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
