Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize