we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Found your dick twin last night
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
