yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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