i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
