i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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