I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
