next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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